While a couple of my friends were chasing crypto moonshots and hot stock tips, I was buying VTSAX and falling asleep. Here’s why boring investments became my path to financial independence.
Look, I’m not going to pretend that if I had dumped cash into Bitcoin, I wouldn’t have more money now. The numbers are absolutely fucking staggering, and I’m going to show you exactly how much I “missed out on” by being boring.
The Numbers: How Boring Investments Stack Against Crypto
Let’s get the painful part out of the way first:
VTSAX over 10 years: ~268% returns
Bitcoin over 10 years: ~48,099% returns
By my calculations (they’re probably a bit off because, you know, I’m not that good at math):
$1,000 invested 10 years ago in VTSAX would be worth $3,682 today.
$1,000 in Bitcoin? $482,000.
And let’s just say I was ballsy and put 1 million into Bitcoin (I didn’t have a million bucks back then, but why not daydream), I’d have $481,000,000 versus VTSAX at $2,681,546.
Lol…wtfffff was I thinking? Now that it’s in black and white, I feel like a complete fool! I could’ve had almost half a billion dollars. An almost half billionaire!
But after getting over the initial shock and picking my mouth up off the floor and giving myself a pep talk, I don’t actually regret my decision to stay boring. Here’s why.
The Temptations I Resisted (And Why I’m Glad I Did)
Crypto bubbles were brutal: March 2020 during COVID, Bitcoin lost 50% of its value in two days. May 2021, it plummeted 53% in one week, wiping out $1 trillion globally. From November 2021 to November 2022, it dropped 77.3% during “crypto winter.”
Could I have timed those perfectly? Hell no. I would’ve panic sold at the bottom like many people.
Individual stock picking seemed smart: I remember thinking maybe I should toss some money into Vanguard Health Care ETF because I thought I knew enough about the healthcare sector. But that was more of a passing thought and I was too lazy to follow through. Comparing it to VTSAX over the last 1/3/5/10 years, I seemed to have lucked out by being lazy.
Hot investment trends everywhere: Every year brought new “sure things” that coworkers were excited about. I stuck with boring broad market index funds while they chased whatever was trending.
Why Boring Won for My Lazy Ass
When it comes to boring investments, I like that ‘set it and forget it’ feeling (thanks Ron Popeil for coining the greatest infomercial tagline in history lol). I’m not afraid of working hard, but I’m also a bit of a lazy investor and don’t want to bite my nails off worrying about a single investment.
Here’s the thing: I was so exhausted and stressed from work that I just didn’t have it in me to research individual investments properly. The last thing I wanted was to be kept up at night because what I thought was a sure bet was crashing. I learned that changing locations doesn’t solve toxic workplace problems, so financial independence was my only real escape. I already had enough challenges sleeping from my job; I didn’t need additional investment stress potentially holding me back from making work optional. Eventually, the work stress became so overwhelming I used FMLA to escape burnout and reassess my life.
I wanted to invest in companies that produce something real. As Warren Buffett said about crypto: “If you buy Bitcoin, you don’t really have something that produces anything. You’re just hoping the next guy pays more.” I preferred part-ownership in actual businesses over digital speculation. That’s why boring investments like VTSAX focus on actual businesses rather than speculation.
I can sleep better at night knowing my risk is spread across companies around the globe rather than concentrated in one thing. The whole market could go to shit, but at least I’m not betting everything on one asset that could become worthless overnight.
What Would I Actually Do with $481 Million?
Honestly? After the initial shock wore off, I realized I wouldn’t change much about how I currently live. I like my life as it is.
I don’t own a car anymore, so I can’t upgrade that. I travel in first or business class on international trips using points and miles. I don’t have a home, so I can’t upgrade that. I guess I could stay at fancier places while traveling, but I was perfectly content with my 1-bedroom villa in Bali with housekeepers three times a week. I didn’t even have to do my own laundry!
The price I paid by not taking crypto risks? I had a plan and a path that still gave me healthy returns without losing sleep over my investments. Money well spent, in my opinion.
Why Boring Investments Work for High-Stress Careers
For me, a simple strategy worked better because my job was mentally and emotionally demanding. The stress from healthcare burnout and toxic workplace culture made complex investment strategies impossible to manage. I didn’t have the bandwidth to do a good job taking care of people AND worry around the clock that my portfolio might tank for no good reason.
I wanted to get out of the rat race ASAP, and boring investing with my risk tolerance was my golden ticket. This approach helped me build a seven-figure net worth starting from just $15/hour. I got paid, maxed out my retirement accounts as quickly as I could, and when those were maxed out, I invested the rest after bills were paid.
Boring? Absolutely. But it worked.
Why Hindsight Isn’t Strategy
Here’s the reality check: What we know now about Bitcoin isn’t what we knew 5 years ago. It could’ve become worthless like many dot-com stocks after the 2000 bubble. (I’m looking at you, Pets.com, Webvan, and eToys.com.)
We don’t have crystal balls. But I know what’s right for me is investing in things that carry risk but also have a long track record of companies producing something of value.
A Quick Disclaimer
This isn’t investment advice – I’m just sharing what worked for my specific situation and risk tolerance. Everyone’s financial picture is different. Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results, and you could lose money in any investment, including index funds.
Do your own research and consider talking to a financial advisor before making investment decisions. I’m a former healthcare worker sharing my personal experience, not a licensed financial professional.
The Bottom Line
Would half a billion dollars be nice? Sure. But I achieved my actual goal: never being under someone’s thumb again. Now I’m living proof that boring investments work—I’m tracking my monthly expenses in Bali (and other places) while traveling the world on my terms.
For high-stress professionals building wealth: you don’t need to catch every moonshot or beat every market. You just need to build enough wealth consistently to buy your freedom. Boring investments can absolutely get you there without the sleepless nights.
The real win isn’t having the most money. It’s having enough money to live life on your terms while still being able to sleep at night.